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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Elizabeth30/Female/United States Groups :iconfriends-and-family: Friends-and-Family
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SO I've been looking at this project thing,

and quite frankly, my past is so complicated and fucked up, that I can't decide how far I want to go with it.

Do I start with my abused childhood, or do I just go straight for the broken spine?

I'm not sure...
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My tunez

“You can adapt to anything, if you have to.”

That's what I said, moments before he tried to kill me.

I will explain. That morning, we got up for work, and went to the gas station, as was our routine every morning. With my back to the gas station, I stared off into the trees, not really thinking about anything in particular.

He got into the truck and sat there for a minute. He was looking off into space, and I had no interest in whatever annoying thing was on his mind.

He then starts telling me about how he saw someone in a wheelchair, doing things by themselves, including folding and unfolding the wheelchair. This included getting it out of the car, and he had seen the the same situation as they got into the car. I looked around, hoping to spot this person, but he started the truck and quickly pulled away.

I can't remember the exact word for word context of the discussion, but I remember him asking me something to the effect of “how could they do that”. How could they function if they couldn't walk on their own.

And that's when I said it. “You can adapt to anything, if you have to.”

He wanted and expected me to elaborate, and I told him that the body is a funny thing, and we can adapt to just about anything. And you have to, there's not really a choice. You either learn to adapt to your situation, or you suffer. The choice sometimes is, adapt or die.

He was quiet again for a mile or so, before asking/saying “So anyone can deal with anything, right?”

To be honest, I don't know if that was the exact words he mumbled, but that was how I remember it. I didn't have time to answer him, because that was when he...

That was when he tried to kill me.

Ever so often, I think of that final ride, when he was so interested in the survival and quality of life of a person in a wheelchair. Did he make the person up? Was he asking me about this in case he screwed up and injured himself?

I don't know. I never got the chance to ask.

However, tonight I think of that sentence. That thing I said before everything changed. It's the thing I remember the most. “You can adapt to anything, if you have to.”

Adapting is painful, but we all must figure it out, one way or another.  

  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My tunez
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My tunez
Apparently, I really like making cookies. 

Who knew?
My new hair by GalaxyGoddess
My new hair
This is fresh from the hair salon. (which was last month). Unfortunately, I only had my phone, not my camera, so the pic is tiny. *sigh*

Next time I intend to take my camera. But I do love this picture
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My tunez
I think part of the problem... is that people are quick to show off the perfect completed work, and reluctant to show off the time and effort it took to get there. 

People see these gorgeous and amazing pieces of work, but not how much time and effort went into it. 

No one starts off perfect, no one starts off able to whip out these wonderful pieces of art. There's time, effort, sweat, and tears. There's failures, mistakes, and accidents. There's this great and difficult process in learning how to make something spectacular. No matter if it's writing, or drawing, or clay work, or even sewing, or anything else you want to work with. Everyone had to start somewhere, and most likely, there's a closet full of "not right" that goes into the process of the eventual product of "Oh, wow".

However, all we get to see, is the end result. We see those, "Oh, wow" and "how did you DO that?" and the imperfect ones are quickly swept off to the side. 

A few times, there has been a really neat piece of artwork that I liked one someone's page, and a couple of years later, I go look for it, only to find it has disappeared. The few times I have asked, I am met with the response of "I removed it because it wasn't representative of my current skill."  This actually makes me a little sad, because it was a lovely piece, that's why I wanted to see it again. 

I can understand the desire to always put forth your best efforts, to try and look "perfect" and "amazing", but it's kind of detrimental to the whole. I am by no means saying that you cannot do what you want with your own works, because this isn't about that.  It's about the illusion presented to the world as a whole. We honor and exalt the best of the best, and that's okay, but it has the side effect of making everyone else feel like they have to achieve something not currently in reach.

I bring again to the statement that no one starts off perfect. But, there is an illusion that is presented, that the person we admire, who inspires us to do better, is on an unreachable level. Has been granted a god-given talent and ability that they did not work for. In our logical minds, we know this is false. In our emotional minds, it becomes something else. It warps into this "failure" voice, that tells us that, if we are not perfect NOW, we never will be.

I am not telling anyone that I demand to see your kindergarten drawings. I am not even asking anyone to stop hiding work they consider inferior. 

All I want to do, is to point out that, those trials and mistakes just make you human. And that it might be considered helpful for others to see how hard you worked. 

Society in general wants to see the most amazing, the most brilliant, but no not care how you got there. It's a little sad, but I think that's part of the problem; maintaining illusions. 

Just a thought process I've been mulling through. 
SO I've been looking at this project thing,

and quite frankly, my past is so complicated and fucked up, that I can't decide how far I want to go with it.

Do I start with my abused childhood, or do I just go straight for the broken spine?

I'm not sure...
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: My tunez


Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Current Residence: USA

Personal Quote: I'm sorry, are we not entitled to quiet enjoyment of a GAME??

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poca2hontas Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I really appreciate the fave ;)
Balandis-Meow Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav! Heart - Free 
sjedi Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the favs!
Applejack-1983 Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  New member Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks for the favesHug 
AFreshNewStart Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav, sweetie!
DinoBirdOfDoom Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student General Artist
thanks for the watch!
Delight046 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the watch! :3
arenhaus Featured By Owner Sep 18, 2014  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the favorite! :)
severedanomaly Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2014
Thank you for the fav ^_^
MT-Photografien Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the+favHelium
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