So, I worked my absolute ass off trying to write this novel that I was so proud of writing, but when I asked for help... well, everyone was busy. It got to the point that I was extremely discouraged and I gave up.
Well, Dec 2, of last year, I had this sudden, slam you in the face inspiration for a story that was truly... terrible. I purposely wrote it with that thought in mind that no one would read it anyway, let's be as awful and raunchy as I never dared to be.
Well, it kind of took over my life, and 1400 pages later, I love every bit of it. Now, I sneakily posted it under a terrible name, and people actually love the damned thing, and I get a lot of comments, and some people have called my work "addicting" and wish I would apply myself to something a little more... public.
Deciding that I did SO well with the awful thing, I'd pick up my previous novel with revision in mind. Sadly, I have discovered it's damned near impossible to get back into. I just keep thinking... "No body wanted to read it then, why would they read it now?" I'm trying so hard to think of it like I did my other story, but it's just so damned difficult to do.
Well, I'm at a point in which I'm not sure what to do next with my raunchy one, that I'm just sitting here, shoving a blank. No point in forcing myself to write what isn't there, but dammit, I got addicted to writing, and I just want to share my work with the world. I want so badly to write, I want so badly to public a book, but...
*sigh* I guess I'll just sit here and tap my fingers, waiting for something to come. I love my silly story, I care about my characters, but dammit, I just don't know what to do.